...

By now, everyone would know Michael Jackson is dead. and congratulations to the person who won all his assets worth millions. I first knewthe news this morning when I went training for work (yes, I got a new job). My colleague said "Michael Jackson is dead. Oh noo. He's legendary." It cracked me up remembering that guy in the series "How I Met your Mother" said the word "LEGENDARY". Well, he is legendary. like Elvis Presley. I wonder who would be next. not dead. I mean to replace Michael Jackson as the legend. 

I'm not really a fan of him. But, you know, who doesn't know Michael Jackson? I can only remember some things about him which is :

• It's black or white, uuuoohh!!~
• nose job
• the music video with zombies dancing
• candle melting (like his nose)
• child abuse
• putera lilin
• convert as a Muslim last year

Well. He's legendary.

This is the least thing that I expected.

My brother now has a facebook and added me.

A cousin of mine added me too.

Sooner or later my father would have one. 

There goes my privacy. 

heyshh.

cold

It's freaking cold now.

freaking cold.

freaking cold.

f r e a k i n g cold.

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cold.

and whathefish I am so damn dunno what to write like seriously. 

Sorry to disappoint you readers. 

I'll write again once it is more substantial. 

twilight

Aku langgar pantang 2 hari lepas. 

hoyeh.

yes, I watched twilight. 

quite amazed, huh.

but the craze - i just don't get it.

boOoleh lah.

people, I want to write more and more if I can.

no idea now.

owh yeah. 

"Across The Universe"

by Fiona Apple (written by John Lennon)
Originally by The Beatles

Things will never be the same again.

Tadi aku menonton cerita "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas". 

Based on a book.

Ya kawan2 boleh cari di youtube.

Kali ini, aku tak baca pun buku nya. 

Based on World War 2 of Nazi's and Jew.

I give the rating of 4/5. I cried at the end of the story.

after finished watching it, 

I google "Why Hitler hates Jew". 

How many of us actually care to find out the facts.

Mari kita menimba ilmu. 

search kawan2 search.

...??

Adik bongsu ku dulu pernah bertanya : "Along, nape bilik orang putih kan, kalau sepah2 pun nampak cantik." Dia kata dia lihat di television. Suite Life of Zack and Cody, That's So Raven, Phil the Future, etc. di Disney Channel. 

Waktu aku kecik2 dulu, setiap kali aku berkunjung untuk bermain di rumah jiranku waktu aku tinggal di U.K dulupun, aku fikir benda yang sama. 

Suatu hari aku pulang ke rumah dah lihat bilikku umakaih sepah tunggang langgang. Aku bising kata "Kenapa sepah sangat ni dik." Kepala aku mula bercelaru tengok keadaan tunggang terbalik. Senang adan tenang jawabnya "Tengok rumah orang putih sepah2 pun cantik je".

hurm. nape. ek. 

My son is a daughter

Semester 1 for 2009 is officially finish and welcomed by a flu and fever one day after submitting my final assignment. (I decided that the first line was suppose to be in Bahasa Melayu whathefish did I write it in English). It's weird sometimes when there are times I think in English, and there are times I think in Malay). I wonder whether it makes a different on how I think. but for what I know is that I don't think in French. whathefish.

I'm unemployed currently. only doing one-offs job here and there. So, my mid semester break is empty. Few friends from Australia is here in Auckland but never got to see them yet as I'm having a flu. A friend from France is here in Auckland and asking for a cup of coffee meet up. Next week Fad from Brisbane coming, and the week after that my family from Malaysia will be coming for a visit here in Auckland, and down to Christchurch, and Queenstown. I better make myself well soon before they arrive otherwise I'll be detained in Christchurch airport for H1N1. 

My days are spent lazing in my room. For the time being, I'm reading this book titled Samir and Samira. A heartrending story of love and oppression in Afghanistan. The extraordinary true story of a young Afghan girl who had been brought up to be a boy. I haven't finish it yet. But life is gruesome. Sometimes I think how can people in some part of the world be so happy and living a lavish life when there are still people in some part of the world who are living in the cause of injustice world.

Actually, I'm hungry.

udang sambal petai please

udang sambal petai please

udang sambal petai please

udang sambal petai please

udang sambal petai please

=(

Nachos sepeket

Gara2 untuk mendapatkan sepeket Nachos Salasa untuk memenuhi keinginan perut yang menolak segala makanan yang lebih berkhasiat dari itu. 

Kami meredahi angin dingin sejuk musim winter malam itu.

Malam itu bukan seperti malam2 biasa. 

Angin kencang, sejuk, menusuk tulang belulang, sehingga mampu membuat aku tidak merasa apa.

Tapi, Nachos punya pasal, pada pukul 10 pm, menuju ke Foodtown (ala tesco, carrefour etc).

tak jauh, 5 minit perjalanan. lebih kurang.

balik, mula2 dengan bersin tak henti, kemudian runny nose.

kemudian badan bersuhu tinggi.

perfect.

just what i wanted.

Mengapa Wanita sangat Istimewa

 M engapa WANITA sangat  istimewa .......??? 
  
Mama dan Papa sedang menonton TV, 
seraya mama berkata."...i letih la..dah lewat ni, i nak tido lah...." 
Mama pun pegi dapur nak tutup tingkap dapur, nanti masuk pulak lipas... 
leceh pulak nanti.. 
dah tu, ade pulak rice cooker 
dalam sink.. 
rendam lepas makan tadi...basuh jap...susun pinggan kat rak, 
lap dapur..terpercik kena sambal 
masa masak tadi.... 
check air panas dalam flusk..takut habis pulak nanti malam anak nak susu...memang dah kering pun flusk ni, jerang la air... 
sementara tunggu air masak, nampak pulak bekas gula dah kosong....salin la gula... 
check bubur untuk anak nak hantar ke taska esok.. 
nasib baik ade lagi...ishh. ..ni lauk bila ni, semalam...dah beku dah...basuh la kejap.... 
pegi yard, masukkan baju kotor dalam mesin basuh.... 
penat dah ni, besok je la basuh...sidai kain lap je lah... 
tik...bunyi air dah masak...salin air dalam flusk....ok settle.... 
Baru teringat tak semayang lagi... 
on da way nak g bilik, papa tgk tv lagi... 
nampak pulak beg anak untuk hantar ke taska...check. .. 
baju 2 pasang, towel...towel kecik utk selsama...calamine lotion untuk sapu ruam...pampers 4 keping.... 
alamak. .telupa pulak masukkan botol...basuh botol jap...ok settle... 
Ternampak pulak beg g keje... 
emm.. 
besok nak pakai beg polo coklat lah, asik2 pakai beg hitam ni je...salin jap barang2 g beg coklat....cek sume 6 poket beg, takut la tetinggal apa2... 
leceh pulak..selalunya barang yang tertinggal tu la yang nak pakai nanti...hishhh sempit la beg ni...hangin je...nak kena beli ni beg baru...rasenya 25 hb ni Sogo sale nih...mana flyers tadi ek....ha ni die..ok, catit jap kat yellow sticker, nanti lupa..ok settle... 
Tetiba dengar suara papa....."..u buat apa lagi tu..tadi kata nak tido.."...." ..yelah nak tido la ni...nak smayang    jap..." masuk toilet..buat apa2 yang patut....cuci muka dulu..2 jenis lak tu...adoi..gosok gigi...smayang. ...pakai toner...pakai treatment cream...nak lawa and maintain punya pasal lah ni... nanti orang kata baru anak satu dah macam anak 4 pulak...huhuhuhu... 
Bukak almari...emmm.. ..pakai baju hijau ni lah besok...gosok kejap..check baju papa, baju papa pun kena gosok jugak ni...kat bilik belakang... la, napa komputer ni tak tutup ni...gelas kopi pun ade lagi, dah bersemut dah..ishhh ...g dapur, basuh, sambung gosok baju....gantung elok2...kemaskan baju gantung2...masukkan seluar papa yang dah kotor dalam tempat kotor...ok  settle.. 
Dgr suara papa lagi..."...i dah ngantuk ni.."..dalam pada nak masuk ke bilik...owh. ..pokok aku dah nak mati ni ha....lupa dah 3 hari tak siram...ok, siram jap....check jap pintu ni...sah tak kunci lagi...grill pun tak tutup..ni kalau tak check ni, senang2 je mat indon masuk rompak umah aku...bukak lampu luar..ni mainan ni sepah2...masukkan la dalam bakul mainan budak ni...banyaknya...sampai bawah meja makan pun ade...adoi.. ..ok dah ... 
Ok dah boleh baring...adoi sakitnya pinggang...cium si comel ni kejap....selimutkan die...la..napa basah ni...emm, tukar la pempers ni...tak bagus la brand ni, nanti nak tukar lain la...nanti g Sogo 25 hbni beli la skali....ok sayang tido k...kalau boleh jangan la bangun tgh malam ni eh..tido sampai pagi k...gud nite..sweet dreams... 
Aaahh...sedapnya dapat baring.....mana pulak lotion sapu kurus aku nih...ha, ni dia...sambil sapu lotion kurus,,,setkan alarm...setkan program kerja besok...pg kul 9..30 ade meeting....ahh...boring.. ...panas pulak lotion nih..dah la...emm..sedapnya lelapkan mata...Ya Allah....terima kasih untuk rezekiMU hari ini,....mohon keberkatan dari mu tuhan...papa pun bangun tutup tv..."...i dah ngantuk sangat ni...nak tido lah...citer pun tak best malam ni, bola pun takde..."... selang seminit  ...dengar suara papa berkeruh...dah agak dah.... 
So?....apa yang peliknya....?? 
Anda tahu kenapa wanita hidup lebih lama?... 
SEBAB ADE    BANYAK KERJA NAK KENA BUAT.... 
tu yang tak boleh nak mati cepat tu.... 
Hantarkan kepada WANITA yang anda rasa hebat...pasti anda disayangi kerana memahami mereka...well, women understand women better...foward jugak kat lelaki-lelaki so mereka akan hargai emak, isteri, dan kawan 2 dengan lebih baik lagi...   
Tak kira la wanita berkerjaya atau surirumah... setiap wanita adalah istimewa dengan cara mereka sendiri.... 
Kalau lelaki mengakui kebenaran ini....hormat dah hargailah mereka...untuk keperibadian dan kebolehan mereka untuk berdikari... 

all wrapped up!

I am officially done with my first semester today. 

I never thought it would be so fast.

Here comes the long winter break. 

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"The world is becoming a weary place.

Everything around us is just getting stranger and stranger."

"Kesengsaraanmu adalah kebahagiaanku" 

Those were the words that my French teacher said on our first day of French lesson in school. 

We were 13 years old. On the very first time set away from home. That's just terrifying enough.

I'll use that phrase one day- I figured.

how the media influences me

Last month. May, I used up my Internet quota up to 15G.

Yeah, finished the whole lot making my $39.90 monthly internet fee worth it!

Finishing most of it watching movies on Youtube and tv3.com.my.

Lets see what I've watched:

"Kekasihku Seru"= tengok satu episod nak lagi

a Malaysian TV3  horror drama. Man, LOVED IT! all those horror movies freaks out there should see this movie like , NOW! Never believed that someone could actually produce a freaking good horror movie like this. 2 thumbs up! untuk mereka di luar negara, sila layari www.tv3.com.my.

"Bong"

This is a nice drama from tv9. lazing my days after doing assignments. Type of movie that will ease you out without making u think so much.

Family Matters

I've been watching this on Youtube, and is my all favourite sitcom.

Everybody Loves Raymond

I loike.

Friends

yeah, that's right!

Transporter 1,2,3

Man, I don't know how could I've missed out this movie. This movie is incredibly awesome. Rating 5/5.

Hannibal Rising

Watched this again. My 3rd time. Hannibal Lecter. 

Secret Garden

Love it!

A little Princess

All time classic favourite based on a book. love it.

Girl, Interrupted

I think this is my 5th time. I don't know why I loved this movie so much.

Hantu Sundel Bolong

okay, I was with high hopes that I could be horror-ed to death, but this movie was funny. I thought ppl been saying that it is so takut. Yeah, this one with Suzanna in it. Dissapointing. We were laughing of the effects, ironically.

Amityville Horror

Based on a true story. My 3rd time. I think this is one of the good American horror movie. which is more realistic. 4/5

Keliwon

Should be applauded for the great hantu effects. More realistic compared to "Jangan Pandang Belakang" "Histeria" dan sewaktu dengannya. But the jalan cerita was quite the same through out the series. But we're talking about some quite good effects here. watch it on TV3.

any other good movie suggestions? please do inform me. 

hehe

cold

Winter is officially here. 

The temperature already reaches 4 degrees at night. 

And yesterday (I think) was the passage rite of Spring giving way to Winter.

Its easy to tell the weather transitions.

It will be welcomed by patters of rains throughout the day with strong winds.

and you could almost feel the  chill ran through your bones.

yesterday I went out at night,

It was so cold

that I think my fingers could actually snap (gloveless).

I don't feel a thing that it was so numb.

and from my room I can hear strong wind running through the buildings.

at times like these, 

the only best place to stay for me is in the shower.

I would spent hours in the bathroom under the hot showers.

Sometimes I just wish to stay there.

and wish time to stop.

Just there. 

aku mintak tak banyak, tapi yang sikit tu lah yang susah nak dapat.

Bila ku lelah tetap lah di sini, 

Jangan biarkan aku sendiri.

Bila ku marah biarkan ku bersandar, 

Jangan kau pergi untuk menghindar.

sheila on 7

childhood memories

TV2 used to show very interesting movies of fairy tales, dramas from Britain like the Famous 5 etc, and also dramas with pretty ladies with big gowns of princesses and princess in huge castles like The Cave of the Golden Roses etc. I remembered once, they showed The Secret Garden, based on a book written in 1911 by Frances Hodgson Burnett   when I was 10 years old. Eversince, I prayed, and really hoped that they would show it again. It never come up on TV until I almost forgot that I really liked that story.

Today I watched it. 

Thanks to Youtube. 

and I discovered "A little princess" is available on youtube too.

It makes me reminiscent about my childhood memories.

Sometimes I wish I'm still a little girl.

how much we have grown

Hidupku hari2 dirumuskan dengan laptop, menyindiri dalam bilik, dan the bf. Itu saja. Maaf, hari2 ku tidak se interesting kerana kurang aktiviti luar, atau keluar, atau berjumpa teman. Hence the lack of posts to write for the lack of events. Dalam erti kata lain aku tak berfikir banyak selain dari 2 final assignments dah ujian mendatang. 

That's a good thing. 

Aku rasa sekarang aku pada satu fasa. Fasa menghabiskan pengajian ku di Auckland. You know the feel when something is coming towards you regardless you want to run from it, but the reality is that it is coming.  kadang2 tak sabar nak balik tanah air, kadang2, tak nak balik . My feeling  kind of stuck in the middle. If only I had a choice, I would want to stay here a little but longer. I always think that we always come to one point in life, and another, to where we re-birth ourselves.  Titik titik pada garisan masa yang kita akan set up atau reformat diri kita balik. Baik dari emosional, fikiran, dan fizikal. 

Bagi aku, itu adalah titik titik di mana kita reformat diri kita dengan "updates" baru yang kita pelajari selama temph dari satu titik ke satu titik yang lain. Bagi aku, 2 tahun di Auckland adalah 1 titik. Pulang nanti, mula yang lain.

Satu titik, ke titik yang lain, ke titik yang lain, ke titik yang lain.

ur eyes will dominate how u perceive the world, but don't trust them much

I don't know whether or not it happens to you.

But it happened to me. 

Waktu aku darjah 3 dulu, aku suka sangat tengok orang pakai kaca mata. nampak macam genius., smart sangat. rasa macam sangat2 cool kalau boleh pakai spek. Aku buat keputusan, aku harus merealisasikan impian aku tu.

 Lantas, pada suatu hari, aku mengadu pada ummi ayah mengatakan aku rabun. Ummi tanya "Rabun macam mana tu?" Aku jawab "Kalau kat trafik light tu nampak macam warna dia kembang, satu, nampak macam ada dua, 2 nampak macam 3." whathefish.

and my parents believed me. hihi.

Aku ingatkan kemudiannya ummi ayah akan bawak aku pergi kedai spek mata. tapi, rupanya tak. pergi bawak aku jumpa pakar mata kat speacialist, sebab iye lah kan, rabun pada usia muda lah katakan.

hah. apa lagi. 

kantoi. deymn.

Sekarang, dah memang betul2 rabun pun. 

dah kene pakai spek, tapi tak nak pakai spek. 

do you see how the world goes ?

1901 hotdog

I'm craving for a 1901 hotdog , and also the marsh potato at the GSC beverage counter.

It would pair up great with Angels and Demons free tickets at the GSC.

why oh why I won 2 free tickets to Angels and Demons at GSC Midvalley when I'm actually in Auckland.

Even worst the movie ticket in Auckland costs 4 times more than in Malaysia.

whathefish

Quote of the day

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere."

- Barack Obama 

people come and people go

I've been thinking. 

or maybe it's something that I've learned. 

the best way to be a carefree person is that she/he commits fully to herself, and less with any other. Life is a pain in the ass when you think too much about other people. 

another thing.

Make friends of quality, not quantity.

That is what I will teach my kids one day.

Apabila 2 awan menyulam bersama,

atau kemudiannya terlerai,

adakah ia masih awan yang sama?

I've got the best thing in the world

 

lighting up the Town Hall

Auckland Sky Tower in Yellow

Auckland City Town Hall

Looks like a candy house. makes me happy , all these colours

beyoohtifool

Life had been a little bit hectic reaching towards the end of semester. Since I've no exams for this semester, coursework and assignment has been piling up endlessly. Sometimes how I wish I could end university life right now. University life is enjoyable sans all the work. We kept on saying that. Like when we were at school, we can't wait for school to be over thinking college/university is way cooler. and at university , can't wait to get into work to make money. when ur working, you'll just hope it will over soon. and when you're old, you can't wait to die. and when you die, you just want to get back living when you found out you're not in heaven.

Round round round and round.

Row row row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily merrily merrily merrily

Life is but a dream

Alhamdulillah hidup lagi hari ni. Esok tak tahu lagi.

Perjalanan hidup kita setiap hari dikotakan oleh janji2 dan matlamat. dah berjalan, berlari. dah masuk sekolah, UpSR. Sekolah menengah PMR, SPM. janji keputusan baik. luar negara. graduate. kerja. masters. PhD?. bahagiakan ummi ayah. contoh pada adik2. hidup sendiri. berjaya. tanggugjawab pada diri, keluarga. tanggungjawab pada tuhan. tunggu. bayar hutang rumah, kereta, tax, sampai satu hari. mati.

Selamat Hari Ulangtahun yang ke-22.

to hijab or not to hijab

Di bumi asing ini, sungguh 'tudung/hijab' itu simbol penting bagi seorang wanita Islam. Such an important symbol of the belief that you are embracing. Di Malaysia, tentu sahaja Melayu itu agamanya Islam. Berlainan di bumi asing. Jikalau tidak bertudung, mungkin ada yang tidak tahu pun agamanya Islam, walaupun sebenarnya kamu adalah seorang Muslim. Pada mereka yang tahu norma masyarakat Malaysia yang Islamnya tak semua bertudung, mereka faham. Bagi setengah yang tidak, mereka tertanya-tanya. 

 

Kadangkala, diri terasa malu. Apabila sapaan Assalamualakum (dari Muslim bukan Melayu) ditujukan hanya pada rakan bertudung yang jalan berseiringan bersama, dan tidak kepada kita. Adakala apabila ditanya oleh orang random "Are you a Muslim?" dan aku menjawab "Yes I am." dan lantas selalu soalan yang ditanya adalah "U don't wear a scarf? or hijab?". To make it short, aku akan selalu menjawab "It's my personal preference." Kerana aku tahu, kalau aku terangkan pun , dia tak akan faham. 

 

dan sebenarnya, 

soalan itu tidak (pernah dan akan) layak pun untuk ada jawapan. 

 

Selalu kedengaran jawapan dari gadis Melayu adalah "aku tak bersedia lagi". Di sini, aku ada pandangan. Pertama, -you are not EVEN in a position to even say that. And that answer is tahi kerbau. Don't make an easy excuse to the sins that you make. Remember, humans are always given a choice. Jika itu option yang kau pilih, that's your responsibility. Secondly, kepada yang menjawab "Alah, yang pakai tudung tu pun bukannya baik sangat pun. Perangai lagi teruk , ada lah. Baik tak payah pakai tudung". That's another tahi kerbau. Ingat, ada yang dah mengambil keputusan untuk naik bahtera menempuh banjir (apa dia buat dalam tu lain kira), kau tu yang tak naik lagi, siapa suruh? Sebab ada yang pakai tudung tapi perangai tak cantik, dan ada yang tak pakai tudung, perangai elok. so, ur just as equal. 

 

We are humans, remember? No one's perfect. 

 

Being a daughter and a good daughter is 2 different things. So as to be a Muslim and a good Muslim. Pada pandangan aku, being a good Muslimmah is an ongoing learning process. You can be wearing a hijab, but you may not wear it as it suppose to be, and within time,  you'll try to improve it, one by one. I may not be wearing a hijab, but that doesn't mean I know nothing about Islam, and not aware of my responsibility as one. You may be a devout Muslim, but you may not (yet) be a perfect Muslim. Setiap orang itu punya keinginan untuk memperbaiki diri dan mengenali.

Have you ever seen a Muslim convert wears a hijab so properly and another who has been all a long a Muslim still can't be wearing it the right way? 

Orang kata , tak kenal maka tak cinta.

bukan?

 

Don't say 'Oh God, I've a big problem!" Instead say, "Hey problem, Ive got a BIG God"

Orang kata ukur baju di badan sendiri. Kita kena tahu apa yang kita boleh dan tak boleh buat. kita kena tahu apa yang sesuai dan apa yang tak sesuai. kita kena tahu apa yang elok apa yang tak elok. kalau tengok Minah pakai skinny jeans cantik, tak semestinya kita pakai pun cantik. Kalau tgk MatJon pakai topi berret hensem, tak semestinya kita pakai pun hensem. 

NO?

I cut his hair, he cuts my hair

My overgrown bangs

I already had it trimmed ! (courtesy of my beloved hairdresser =))

Yay!

For the past few weeks, I've been contemplating on whether to keep my blunt fringe, or let it grow to be long sweeping bangs. I had my blunt fringe since September last year, and had it trimmed every 2 months to maintain the length as it gets really uncomfortable when it hangs around my eye lashes when it overgrows. 

Room 207 had some makan2 cum Haniff's (bukan nama sebenar) birthday celebration today. The food were super delicious. Ayam dalca, nasi gajus (whatever the name is), macaroni, and some other tasties. I was loaded. I don't think that I ate much. but maybe because I haven't eaten rice or a proper meal for 3 days. I've been eating maggi too much. haih.

after the makan2, went home. saw my hair straightener and hair curl tong that never been used still in the box (I'm so good at buying stuffs that I don't need). I discovered that we could use hair straighteners as hair curlers. How cool is that!! and I experimented with the curler tong as well. Both item produce different type of curls. Thanks to youtube. I worship you. I set my hair like I want to go somewhere. hah. dok rumah je. ceh. 

My new trimmed bangs 

I've been watching Family Matters sitcom on Youtube lately. (I remembered it was on TV2 in Malaysia in the 90's)

Remember Steve Eargle?  and his high pitched nasal voice screaming :

"Ohh.. Lauraaaaa..!!!"