Leaps of faith

On those days, I started my blog as an anonymous. With shadows and perks of me only to be found on some pics. And I enjoyed that. The reason being is that it is very deliberating when you write without being judged, scrutinized, predicted, and mind being read. Soon, my face starts to appear on the blog through some pics normally I drag it along when telling about my trips and events. The circle of readers got expanded not only to the unknowns but to also most of my friends, acquaintance, and friends and foes alike.

How does it feel to be judged?

I don't know. I think sometimes it feels so naked. Like every part of your skin is bare to be touched. Or sometimes, it feels so liberating, almost floating as that you shared something worth writing, worth knowing for others to also ponder upon. To think, to share, to spread. Well, of course the hardest things is to make our point of view to be understood by others. It is really hard to make people believe in what they disbelieve.

But opinions and stands shapes a person. That what defines you and at most that's what most important in life so as you stick to it firm, have a reason to what you believe, heads held high when people disgusts you. Like what Rumi said once "Start a huge, foolish project, like Noah... it makes absolutely no difference what people think of you".

My mind works wonderfully too fast that sometimes its complex to comprehend.

And facts of wondering came in too fast that left a lot of unanswered questions hanging in the void. When I was little, even at school, I have a very hard time understanding the concept of "Destiny", "Fate" or "Takdir". I thought that if everything is already written for us, then what is really the use of us being on the earth as human being? Its as if we are staging an already fine scripted play. Characters, events, time, and place all sorted out. Press the play button until the long long episode end. I have a hard time understanding the concept. I asked all the scholarly Ustaz and Ustazah, parents, my granparents. And everytime they answer it, it doesn't really satisfy me.

So, do we have a say in this stage of play?

Do we have control over it? Or we don't and just follow the script? Does what we want in life have been all scripted and we are powerless to have control over it, OR we CAN do something about it? Who takes custody of your own life? Fully God's? or it's a share?

I think there is a correlation between the two that has to reach a resonance in every event, every pinpoint of occurance in life. Half of it you have control over, half of it you have NO control over. There is so much fate that we cannot control. But we can make choices. God always know what we need, where we will be, what's best for us, what's not good for us, for He knows. The puzzling part that He wants us to play the role here is to find meaning to it. It's about knowing what we want, put effort into it, pray, and see where it goes.

We are not entirely the actor of the play nor are we the sole director of the play.

It's a little of both.

It is just to know which is under our control, and which requires our effort to be steer in with concentrated effort.There is a certain calmness when we try our best in everything and even if it fails, we accept it wholeheartedly. Cos we know that's beyond our control. Itu kerja tuhan. Percaturan tuhan tiada siapa yang tahu,

and have faith.

have faith everyone.

The sun will shine after every thunderstorm.

Salam Awwal Muharram everyone.

Have a blessed year ahead.

=)